My response to a call for advice on dealing with a stubborn son: “Good afternoon (my brother). I can sense your deep concern and frustration regarding (your son’s) attitude. I would certainly advise you and (your wife) to pray first, and knowing you two, I’m sure you have done so. I admire your humble call to your brothers for advice, and thankfully, they responded with compassion and wisdom using scripture for support.” “I’ll try to do the same. Your use of Joshua 24:15 was not out of context. As head of his household, Joshua was declaring to the Israelites his choice to serve the Lord. They could make their own choice: ‘And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell…’(Joshua 24:15a,b,c,d). He set the standard and was an example as a leader to all the people as well as to his household. If a teenager or young adult of Joshua’s household opposed him, Joshua had God’s instructions on what to do (Deut. 21:18-21). It was rather harsh because violating the 5th Commandment was and still is a serious sin in God’s eyes (Ex. 20:12; Deut. 27:16). However, during this age of grace (not the Law), we firmly apply the principles of the Law and NT teaching.” “Questions:
1. Are you sure (your son) is saved?
2. How old is (your son)? 3. Is he showing genuine respect for you and (your Wife)? I’ll apply Scripture to each answer: 1. If saved, then he must without exception comply with Eph. 6:1-3.2. If an adult (over 17), he should be on his own, in either his own ‘house’ or homeless shelter (I.e., Haven For Hope, Salvation Army, etc.). His ‘prodigal son’ attitude disqualifies him from staying in your own house. If 17 and under, apply the ’rod’ (discipline). See Prov. 13:24; 19:18; 23:13-14. This certainly applies whether he is saved or not. 3. If saved yet not respecting you and (your wife), then 2 Thess. 3:14-15 applies. Thus, he needs hardships (including imposed alienation) that will bring him deep shame and move him to repentance (2 Cor. 7:9-11).” “This is the best I can advise, in addition to my other brothers’ advice. So, pray and be that fatherly figure as portrayed in Proverbs. In fact, it may be good, as long as your son is under your roof, to require him to read a chapter per day from Proverbs, in addition to going to church. You, (your wife), and (your son) are in my prayers. You can call me anytime. Blessings!”
Perhaps you have relatives and friends who can use this advice. Pray first for yourself and them. May God use you as you share it.
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